I reached a point in my faith where I accepted the Lord, but I was not ready to give up my life to Him. I wanted the best of both worlds. I never got baptized, I never went up to the altar, I hit a point where I went to church sometimes, I never read the bible, I rarely prayed, and I rarely praised. BUT I did believe Jesus died for me. I wasn't true to giving up my life for God but I knew Jesus died for my sins. I wanted to do MY thing, MY will, and reap the benefits of God. WELL, Something I learned in one of my "God smacks me in the face" lessons. It doesn't work that way.
I realized that my will and God's will are not always the same thing. I also realized that God is gonna have me doing some crazy things, that I never thought I would ever do, and if I'm gonna make the decision to follow God, than I have to really be ready to follow God. I also realized that a great excuse for me to not have to do something that God was calling me to do was "If it's God's will."
I can not tell you how many times I said that phrase. Well, this is how God smacked me in the face. I hate public speaking. I dispise it. I hate the all eyes on me feeling, I hate it so much, I would take zeros in school so I wouldn't have to public speak. I wouldn't get baptized because of this. So I made excuse after excuse, all because I didn't want to speak in public. You wanna know what. This IS GODS WILL. God's Word (the bible) says that I be baptized. God's will is that everyone be baptized when they decide to follow Jesus. God told Jesus He was proud when He got baptized. Hey, I mean if Jesus can die on the cross for me so I can have eternal life, the least I can do is stand up and declare that I follow Him. It was MY WILL to decide to not be baptized, but I am going to be baptized. August 30th. It is God's will and because I choose to follow God, I made it be my will.
I tried, tried and tried to read the bible. I had trouble doing it, couldn't get into and found many more books to be more interesting than God's word. Than I realized, God's Will is for ME TO READ HIS WORD. If I want to learn about God, and follow God, I need to read His Word. Me not reading the bible is MY WILL, and making excuses as to why I can't, also MY WILL.
I couldn't get my butt up to the altar to praise God. I would say to myself, "God if it's your will, send me someone to go up there" God sent me someone. God sent me a lady who came to me and said GO RECIEVE GOD. And I did it. I recieved the Holy Spirit at the altar. I prayed the most intimate prayer of my life at the altar. All because it was God's Will. God WANTS ME TO RECIEVE HIM. God loves getting praise, God wants me to go to Him. My fear of not going to the altar, kept me from recieving the Holy Spirit.
I was always afraid to speak to people of my faith. I was afraid of what they would think, how they would react, I was afraid they would think I was being a 'craZy christian' pushing God on them. So I never spoke a word. I never said anything, and so many times God put it on my heart to do it. I would fight God about it. Back and forth, and I would always finish with, "if it's your will God..." Let me tell you what I learned, if God wants you to say it, SAY IT. If He wants you to write it, WRITE IT. If He wants you to pray it, PRAY IT. He wouldn't have put it on your heart if it wasn't His will. Now I'm in no way, shape, or form an expert on God's Will for your life, or on preaching scripture, or even on being the most perfect God Follower out there. But what I do know is that so many times in my life I used God's Will as an excuse for MY WILL. And after I started letting my will go and following God's will, I've found that my life is easier. My family's life is easier. Worship is sooo much better, and the Bible is teaching me so much. I haven't been up to the altar since that last time, I read my bible every couple days, and I still sometimes fight with God about saying or doing things, eventually I give in. But my point is that I now know that I can do all of these things. And when God CALLS me to do it. I'm gonna. And as much as I may want to fight Him, I know that He's not gonna back down.
Easter
16 years ago
Posts
Amen to that times 1,000!!! I love this message so much =) This message is in God's Word too...
ReplyDeleteEPHESIANS(4:17-24)= "So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as Gentiles do, in the futility of thier thinking. They are darkened in thier understanding and seperated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of thier hearts. Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, with a continual lust for more. You, however, did not come to know Christ that way. Surely you heard of Him and were taught in Him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by it's decietful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true rightousness and holiness."